Wednesday, July 13, 2011

Listen to what she says? Hug Etiquette

If a girl says that she is gay. If she says that the last person she dated was a guy, but that she currently has a crush on a girl and that she is poly. If she says that she can't tell when people are interested in her and so she needs them to make the first move. If she says this all while laughing at all of your jokes, smiling, and generally giving you the impression that she is flirting with you.
Natalie Portman and Scarlett Johansson. Smiling + laughing + flirting=FUN
If this happened, what would you do? Would you make a move? Let's say you do make a small move. You touch her arm, but she turns away. You respectfully take that as a sign that she is not interested. 
How did it get awkward all of the sudden?
Over the next two days she continues with the flirting, and the insisting that she is gay and needs others to make the first move. So you tell her you want to kiss her while you are walking down the street. She laughs and says "what here?" So you keep walking, but you say "we need to kiss before we get to the event, it will be good for our vibe." She verbally agrees, so you try to kiss her, but she squirms, laughs and turns her head away while you aim to plant the kiss. So you say, "do you want to kiss or not?" and she says yes. So she stands still and you try again, but she laughs again. She says "let's do it after the event, I think I'm just nervous."
Her words say "yes," but her lips say "not right now and probably never."
After the event, there is really no opportunity for a kiss, but you do flirt with each other in front of everyone. It probably looks to others that you are in a relationship.
Let's perform in public like sweethearts Lindsay Lohan + Samantha Ronson
The next day, you are in a taxi together at night. No one can see back there. So you lean on her with your arms around her. She is stiff. So you say "I want to cuddle" She says "I can see that. Do you need me to do anything?" you say "no." Because you don't need her to do anything, you just need her to do whatever she wants to do. But you have gotten so many signals, that you keep leaning on her and you start to play with her hair. She not only remains stiff, she also shifts away. So you stop.
Uh, no.
When you get to the location you are going to, you both get on your laptops. You say "what do you feel like doing?" She shrugs. You say "we could do work, go to sleep, or make out." She laughs and says "what?" You say "I'm just giving you options." She says "I'd like to go to sleep."
Definite no.
At this point you are done trying to read her mixed signals. She might be saying one thing, but her body clearly does not respond.
No longer willing to entertain the idea
The next morning she comes over and gives you a big hug from behind. All the while she is saying "I love you. You are so great." Right, you get it. By love, she means "I love you in a purely platonic way" and by great she means "You are so great as a friend only." And by giving you a hug from behind, she means, please do not reciprocate.

It would have been nice to have a translation of her mixed up code from the start.

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